It may be a myth that women take longer to warm up to the idea of sex than men do. For women who are very familiar with their bodies and sexual response, not much time is needed to have them be lubricated and ready. Many women reach orgasm quickly through self-stimulation but take longer to arouse and orgasm when in partnered sex.

Regardless of individual arousal time a women’s sexual response usually begins with feelings of emotional intimacy. She may not need such intimacy every time she makes love, but things generally go better if she feels she is getting the intimacy she needs. Tender words, touching, loving gestures, and sexual foreplay are ways to begin to warm a woman up.

As a woman becomes sexually stimulated, her chest may flush, her vulva will begin to swell, and she’ll start exuding lubrication in her vagina. Her nipples may become erect and her breasts firmer. The labia begin to swell. The heart and breath speed up. Blood flow increases to her erogenous zones...