A: I have two responses for you. First, I want to stress that every square inch of the body has the potential to be a pleasure spot. The way to cultivate this level of enjoyment is merely to give full focused attention on any place on the body that is currently being touched. The one giving should touch with focused attention on the area they wish to arouse, moving slowly and deliberately, gently experimenting with various pressures and attitudes and tones. Take the approach that you wish to lovingly awaken the area. This gives the person receiving the touch the opportunity to feel, with increasing depth, into the many different facets of how the body/mind/and spirit respond to the pleasure. From there, the receiver can also focus attention on the area being stimulated and through this focus can choose to allow that feeling to expand and grow. With this practice, both can learn to delve into the most infinitesimal subtlety of pleasure and feel it grow throughout the entire being as it expands into the intensity and rhythm of an ocean wave. The more focused the attention by both parties engaged, the greater the possibilities...
However, there are also some hidden places that love attention on a man or woman, which are a spectacularly encouraging place to begin the explorations as described above. These hidden places are not so much hidden as they are shielded by the body's construction. These are the places like the underarms, the inside of the elbow or knee, in between the fingers and toes, behind and inside the ears, the eyelid, and of course the G-area or spot.
The G-spot is not really a spot at all, but an area inside the vagina, located up and behind the pubic bone on a woman. If you were to enter the vagina with your finger, to find it, you would hook your finger around the internal pubic bone, toward the front of the body. It is a ridged area that feels like corrugated cardboard. It is erectile tissue, which engorges upon arousal. This is a very sensitive area, and one that holds not only intense potentials for pleasure for a woman, but one that also can be a holding place for emotional pain. So, if you are going to explore this area, it is important to know that it should be approached with reverence and respect. Often, before it can be pleasurable for a woman to experience stimulation there, it many initially be uncomfortable, or bring forth some strong emotions. She may or may not be able to identify what these are.
If you and your partner are both wanting to open her up to her pleasure in this area it is important to start with an attitude of patient healing service to your partner, without any goals or expectations. Be gentle and sensitive in your approach and your touch. Encourage her to communicate what kinds of touch are pleasing and helpful so that you can best help her feel safe and accepted no matter what she is feeling. Then as emotions come up, give her your full attention, let her emote, and don't try to fix it. Just let her have the space to feel her feelings while you console and hold her. She will come out of the emotion feeling clearer, more open, probably very vulnerable, and loving you for supporting her process. She may experience many different feelings in one session. Be ready to enjoy them all and the doorway to pleasure and greater intimacy will swing wide open!
