I have difficulty having orgasms, what should I do?
Q: I've always had some difficulty in having orgasms. I've read in one of your articles that we should learn to relax and breath properly to help reach orgasm. But when I'm nearing climax, I could not help holding my breath and I feel myself tensing and I often 'lose' it even though I am so near.
A: Orgasm is a metaphor for life. If we run after orgasm, doing all the things we heard we were suppose to do to feel good, we often feel cheated, like we didn't get it. You can't work for orgasm, it is a gift that you receive. Orgasm is a state of being, an energy that is always present, that we tap into when we relax, trust, feel, and let go. Breathing helps us to relax and be present in the body and the moment. And that is where great sex and connection happens. Tensing up puts you into the striving mode and orgasm becomes illusive. You can't work for orgasm, you have to slip into it like diving into a great ocean of pleasure. Breathe, relax, let go. That is the way.
The following question is answered by Johanina Wikoff, Ph.D. also known as "Dr. Josie." She is an author, lecturer and international workshop presenter. Dr. Wikoff will answer questions submitted to email@example.com.
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