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Essential Oral Sex Techniques
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from the book: The Lowdown on Going Down ORAL SEX 101 Remember that the secret to oral sex is sign language. Techniques are important, but knowing when and where to use them is doubly so. Ladies First If a man and woman are going to participate in oral sex, the idea that the man should perform on the woman first is not some residual act of chivalry. It is purely pragmatic. Women are capable of enjoying the sex act and multiple orgasms for lengthy periods of time. A man typically takes time to rejuvenate after one single orgasm, and sadly, even rejuvenated, it can be difficult to muster the verve of the first go-round. For this reason, the overall quality of sex goes up when the woman can experience multiple orgasms through oral sex first, and then the man can climb his own summit to exhaustion. The Essential Oral Sex Experience When you're ready to go down, make sure you take your fingers or sex toys out of the vagina for a few minutes if you've been fooling around. Take a moment for kisses and deep-dish necking like you just got home from WWII and give the nether regions some time to re-sensitize. (And on your way down, skip the whole blanket-over-your-head move. This seems sexy in movies, but will just make you overheat.) A great way to heighten sensation before oral sex is to lightly and slowly run your fingers up the thigh area, then give gentle kisses around (but not quite touching) the genitals, perhaps running your fingers through or lightly pulling on the pubic hair. Before you dig in, switch to the other leg and perform the same inward trajectory, activating the nerves all around the genital area until you are lightly kissing and caressing the genitals themselves. This circling of the prey builds expectation and excitement. Once you begin caressing and kissing the genitals, remember that harder is not always better, and while a little saliva is an absolute prerequisite, sometimes less is more. (Too much saliva can actually dull sensation.) When your partner begins to respond to these light touches--which can include blowing, licking, kissing, caressing, and even a little tickling--that is the green light for more speed and intensity. These are not necessarily most effective when delivered immediately. Being on the lookout for your partner's signs and signals doesn't mean you should be a sexual sycophant. Part of making oral sex more fun and less linear is the use of teasing, provocation, withholding, and whatever else you can think of to drive your partner nuts. If she responds to this by moaning, twisting, or playfully kicking you, her desire is skyrocketing. If she looks at you like a broken vending machine that just took her quarter, then it's time to give it up and dish it out. However, even if playful withholding doesn't work for everyone, the linear, standard modus operandi is a universal turnoff. If you are being playful and spontaneous, your partner will feel it. If you are go-ing through the motions and not really applying your creativity, your partner will feel that too. The number one ground rule for oral sex, then, is to enjoy it. Play around enough to find out what your lover likes (and doesn't like!). You can start from above or below--whatever you do, just avoid diving right in. From below tends to make a racier mood, while from above is more traditional and romantic. If you start from the top, kiss her neck, her breasts, and her stomach, slowly working your way down her torso. The ...
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