"We're in our mid fifties. My partner talks a lot about sex but when it comes to the nitty gritty, he can't stay up. What can we do?”
Tantric philosophical origins are thousands of years old. Transformational sexuality was one of many paths that were included in the whole-life perspective that Tantra holds. Health and natural medicine were one of those parts. Both Tantrics and Taoists practiced ejaculation control techniques that allow the chi or life-force energy to build in a man, as he ages.
The teachers of these practices today say that a man may have many orgasms but should retain his “seed” to increase his energy and sexual drive. These techniques work. They take some practice, but in most cases, if a man and his partner are willing to learn (by the way, this is fun) it often takes but a few weeks to become very proficient. Women, this means he lasts a lot longer and that gives you the possibility of G-spot orgasms.
It's a simple process that includes deep belly breathing and relaxation. You and your partner (this can be a solo practice also), would have a session where they would arouse you with their hands, and, when you told them to, they would back off and just remind you to breathe and relax. After a few moments, you would begin again. Continue peaking for 3 or 4 times the first time without going over the top. Stop. Don't have any more sexual stimulation that night. Of course, women you can. In a few days (you can have sex in between this time!) try the practice again. Go for longer each time and relax into the bliss feelings. Use a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 as the ejaculation point) to work the edge to get to 9.75. Soon you should be able to actually feel the orgasm without the loss of fluid and feel very much more energized and sexually alive. Some men report noticing a difference within two weeks and others need longer.
Today, we are blessed to know much about the human body and its functions. We know that poor blood circulation can cause erectile problems in men and arousal problems in women. As men age, the one-way valves that allow blood into the penis become fatigued and, as we age, these same valves allow leakage of blood back out sooner than we'd like. Good diet, lots of exercise, low cholesterol and a happy, frequent sex life all lead to - a long sex life! Men who have practiced Taoist techniques throughout their lives report very strong sex lives into their 90s. They can only accomplish this through conserving their chi.
Here are a few modern tips, in addition to the above. There are herbal supplements you can take that are mild to very effective, depending on the person. They will often contain a set of ingredients that are safe and effective. Stay away from Yohimbe as a main ingredient. L-Arginine is very good for erectile tissue. Always check with your doctor before taking anything in this area, especially if you are on any medications that may have contra-indications. You don't want a natural blood thinner on top of a prescription blood thinner!
A little item that is very affective and can be used in conjunction with the Tantric practices mentioned above, is a cock-ring. Get only the kind that are made of surgical rubber and are fully adjustable. These are very effective in blocking the blood flow out of the penis and keeping the penis much firmer during arousal. It is safe, but don't use it for more than 20 minutes. There is no need to have it tight - it works great at just the snug level!
The cock-ring mentioned above can be found in the Tantra.com Catalog.
