Consider that there is a gift in this. Life is currently conspiring to get you to expand your personal spiritual life, your inner life, your spiritual practices and meditations, your awareness of higher consciousness. Accept it as a blessing and aspects of the situation will uncreate themselves! Conversely, what you resist persists. The highest option here is for you to become a diligent yogi for a year or so, then reassess.

Sometimes we have incredibly smooth alignment with someone in many practical and domestic ways - they are like best friend or brother/sister for us. Life with them is easy and flowing in many ways. But ultimately they are not our soul mate, not our true beloved with whom we can reach advanced states of intimacy and union for spiritual evolution. Someday you will need to ask yourself, "What am I willing to settle for? And am I experiencing the highest levels that I am capable of and deserve?" Only you can answer such questions - but I suggest that you save these questions until after you have practiced Tantric energy meditations on your own for at least six months.

Surrogates can be very helpful, depending on who the person is you work with. Choose someone who is both intelligent and loving. It sounds like you have been pleasure deprived for quite some time, so you probably have a significant backlog of need for affection and pleasure. Therefore, do not work with a surrogate who isn't warm and caring towards you.