Q.
I've heard of something called Tantric Energy Meditations. What are these and how can my partner and I use them to improve our sex life?"
A.
Whether devised by a Tibetan Tantric master or a Western neo-Tantric teacher, Energy Meditations involve conscious focus and some means by which to circulate the breath, the imagery and the energy throughout the body and the mind. They might be best practiced, initially, by oneself and then with a partner. By learning and practicing any form of energy work you will gain an advanced tool in the quest to ever more connection with the source of sensuous life within you.
Begin by learning to breathe into your belly - deep full breaths. Focus your attention on the in and out of the breath as you would during meditation. Feel your belly expand with the in breath and the air fall naturally from your body on the out breath. Practice this a few minutes or longer every day.
When you feel comfortable with this way of breathing, sit on a straight back chair or the floor with a cushion just under the edge of your bottom. Sit with your legs crossed and begin to add a Kegel squeeze to the in breath and let it go on the out breath. Breathe in and out through your nose. Squeeze and relax with every breath.
The next step is to begin visualizing the breath going up your spine as far as the back of the inside of your skull and then out your nose. Imagine that the breath out is bathing your body with light. Breathe in again and imagine that the air is coming from the Earth, up your spine, and out over the front of your body. It bathes you in radiant light and energy.
You are creating a kind of energy "pump" when you breathe in and close the pelvic muscles to keep the energy in the body as you circulate it and then release it. Breathe slowly and get accustomed to this kind of breathing. Don't overdo the first few times.
You are ready to add a partner. Sit across from each other and practice this breath together. After a while, try alternating your breaths. You breathe in while your partner breathes out. This has the effect of both of you breathing in deeply the other's pheromones, the odorless sexual attractants that draw us to one another. They get you turned-on! Remember to visualize the energy moving through and over your body. You can even try moving that energy to flow over your partner's body and encapsulate them into your energy field.
Add to your practice a faster breath. Do this for no more than ten breaths the first time. Pace yourselves. You will find this useful later during lovemaking when you want to increase the sexual charge and turn-on, but also want to control the energy flow and his ejaculation rate.
It is very useful for women to use the faster breath for longer than ten breaths when she is trying to get more excited, For men it can cause them to get out of control of their ejaculation, but for women it will increase the pleasure and move her to orgasm sooner. When we breathe together, though, in the height of passion we tend to match each other's speed, so use it wisely.
Visualize orgasmic pleasure and it will follow. Move the energy being created in the body with the mind. Spread it throughout the body from the genitals. Circulate it. This is a great key to a man's ability to master his ejaculation.
As you take this into your lovemaking, be patient with yourselves - it will come and you will reap the benefits of having practiced these meditations. Start your lovemaking in the Yab/Yum position first. The man sits upright and the woman straddles him. He crosses his legs under her and she crosses hers behind his back. This is the close version of the earlier exercise. It allows you to undulate, breathe together, and eye gaze - all the makings of a grand energy meditation on love!
