February 9, 2012
 
 
 



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How can I achieve a "complete" orgasm beyond fear?

Robert Frey

Q: I am a twenty-three year old woman. I have some type of odd feelings towards orgasms. Maybe it's fear, but every time I'm at the point of feeling this wave of pleasure, I tense up and become afraid to experience anything further. This happens probably about 45 seconds after I begin to have that feeling. It feels like I'm about to fall off a cliff. How can I use Tantra to get past this feeling of fear or anxiety to allow myself to go further along in experiencing a complete orgasm (whatever that is)?
A: I suggest that you proceed on two fronts: one being psychological and the other being Tantric. The reactions you describe are very similar to those of women who have survived yet completely forgotten trauma from early childhood or from past lives. That's right, I said "past lives," in lieu of any other possible explanations.! So with qualified, experienced, professional help you could discover the root causes of your reactions, and either verify or rule out suppressed trauma. I also suggest you access those professional resources (a therapist or a specialized support group) before you begin Tantric practices, just in case some deep emotions and "body memories" get triggered. If there is no qualified professional in your area, consider traveling or working over the phone.

At times Tantric practices can be very healing. Sacred Spot massage, if practiced by someone who is capable, well trained, and loving, in a safe, guided setting, can be very powerful and healing for women who close down before orgasming. Check out several of the videos on this topic. Make sure that you explore this ritual in the presence and guidance of an experienced Tantra teacher - this is much more than a technique. Also if possible get training in "Sexual Energetics," developed by Lori Starr and myself. The premise here is that internal body tension and restricted breathing dramatically limit the ability to achieve orgasm.


Robert Frey

The following question is answered by Robert Frey. Robert was one of the most experienced Western male Tantra teachers with over 25 years experience in healing, Psychology, Tantra, hypnosis, Eastern practices, Sufi, movement, and music. Robert passed away unexpectedly on June 15, 2004 in Maui.







 
 

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