One evening while preparing a workshop I used to offer entitled "Creating Healthy Boundaries", it occurred to me that I could look at "recovery" in a new way. In my own journey of healing and (actual) transformation, at some point I had made a conceptual shift from an orientation wherein I was recovering from some wounding and dysfunction, to a new paradigm in which I was actually recovering something I had lost. In doing so, I was returning to a place I had been before and became that original person in a new, more evolved way.
The current model of recovering from substance abuse, codependency, addictions, etc. offers a powerful beginning for many who need to take stock of their self-destructive habits, behaviors and thoughts and make movement on the journey of healing. However, the trick is to not get stuck in relation to that which one is attempting to recover from. To cast my identity as one who is recovering from something which I deem harmful is somewhat like the opposite of an affirmation. It would be counterproductive for a gymnast to repeatedly affirm the statement "I don't fall down" because the mind first has to make a picture of falling down and then cancel it, possibly without a clear replacement visual. Likewise, there is the potential danger of permanently identifying myself as a recovering codependent or adult child of an alcoholic, etc. Furthermore, without an image of who I am beyond this process, the subconscious can easily imagine that this will go on forever - because this is who "I am". I have forgotten that everything changes, no one is "stuck," and that full and complete healing is well within the power of love and of God.
On the other hand, when "recovery" is also seen as a process of reclaiming lost or disowned parts of myself I can celebrate each victory as I recognize the progress I am making in my return to my original wholeness, my natural self. Each of us enters this life very connected to our essence. Each in our own unique way is born as a child of God. Through the effects of conditioning and the absence of love, significant parts of us become fragmented and we lose our wholeness and natural style of being. Included in the loss is a natural way of connecting with others and an ease and joy with our sexual energy and its expression. The process of recovering these separated parts, especially our emotions and will, returns to us our natural childlike joy, spontaneity, creativity, unconditional love, sexual vitality, and self-esteem. It is the process of reclaiming the vital life that would have been ours had we been raised in a completely supportive, wise, skillful, sex-positive, and loving environment. This recovery includes the healing of our "inner child" and results in a major transformation of who we are and how we live.
For several years I asked myself, "Can this be accomplished and how?" and have actively pursued effective answers and methods. After reading a bit about Quantum Physics I realized that although transformation often happens slowly and gradually, quantum shifts can and do also take place rather rapidly, given the proper conditions and sufficient quality influence. Unplanned initially, but later quite consciously, I began to put together a curriculum for myself that would effectively activate and move all levels of my being so that the old patterns of conditioning would be shaken free, and a higher order of consciousness, health, and aliveness could reformulate. An order that would be more true to my inherent nature.
Having been a healer and teacher of personal growth and healing for over 20 years I naturally began to think in terms of sharing this approach with others, for I believe that quantum shifts are possible for most people. I am now convinced that significant, lasting, positive change can take place in a relatively short period of time if one is willing and has a strong intention to make a shift. Indeed, the alteration can be deep and permanent, and the person will never go back to where they were before mentally, emotionally, lifestyle-wise, etc. One is then in a much more resourceful position to skillfully meet life's daily challenges and live out a healthy life.
Beginning with extraordinary willingness and intention, we must take a deep, long, honest look at what is limiting us - what in us is causing us suffering. We need to understand what it is that we're recovering from before we can focus on what we wish to recover. The process requires awareness of and "being with" the causes of suffering, followed by release of the associated tension and conditioning. This opens the space for transformation into the new and a reclaiming of a new version of our true nature. We will need a safe space free of judgment and criticism where we can openly carry out this personal, private inner exploration. Beautiful, inspiring, powerful nature locations can assist us in contacting our natural self.
Because so much of our original conditioning and wounding occurred in social or interpersonal contexts (via parents, school, church, etc.,) we will need loving support, tender loving care, honesty, kind feedback and reflections, and cheerleading by loving friends and quantum shifters who can genuinely celebrate each of our victories because they care about us. We can be greatly helped by sincere, skillful coaches, teachers, and wise elders who have traversed the territory before us and who can offer us clear maps and useful, effective methods for moving through our blind spots and stuck places. Perhaps as much as anything we will need encouragement, tools to quiet our minds, prayer for spiritual help, and reassurance to be patient and open in receiving it.
Having come to grips with some of our limitations and areas of suffering, confusion, or self-destruction, we must bring to awareness as much as possible their roots and beginnings and recognize how we have internalized our early external negative influences. Then we face our own "inner critic" whose tremendous power over us must be harnessed in new, constructive ways. When this oppressive influence is transformed, a safe space is created to contact and reunite with our inner child, and a whole new possibility emerges for loving ourselves. From an inspiring experience of loving ourselves comes the natural impulse to love others, so we are available to learn and really take to heart useful, relevant relationship skills and practice giving and receiving love. A sense of spiritual intimacy emerges as we learn to facilitate and allow this natural tendency to want (and thrive on) closeness with others. From here it's possible to be guided to a viewpoint where we can see and actually feel that the Spirit of life connects all people, and our love and sense of purpose can be expanded further.
Such a journey moves one through all the layers from deep inner limitation outward to oneness with life. Thus we can recover our natural self, our ability to have intimacy, our sexual energy, passion, aliveness, and life force, and become whole once more, even if for just a while. Having done so, we will have established new insights and beliefs, new neural pathways, and every cell will know without a doubt that the old limiting programs are not binding. We have made a quantum shift in recovering our true nature, we will never fully go back, and we are now freer to be and to share our authentic selves!
