There’s something mysterious and forbidden about oral sex, yet it’s desirability cannot be denied. The control and surrender, the visual aspects for the couple, and the vulnerable nature of an act that has had a history of shame surrounding it are powerful motivators. It can often be a source of struggle for couples when one partner wants it and the other does not want to give it or get it.

When men’s sexual fantasies and dreams are voiced they often contain elements of oral sex. This has been true for so long that it’s even covered in the Kama Sutra and earlier texts like the Kama Shastra. When both partners really enjoy giving and receiving oral sex it is an erotic and arousing addition to lovemaking.