A: Ultimately you have to learn to believe in yourself, regardless of what anyone else is doing or not doing, or what they have or don't have. The teachings say that it is the quality of your energy and your consciousness, and the level of your loving skills that are most important and that will be most satisfying to an evolved woman. Once you have progressed in the training you'll no longer be concerned with such things. Also consider: what is the state of the rest of your body? Do you maintain vitality, health and vibrancy and bring that to your connections with women? As one might expect, due to size and shape, some lingams and yonis make better fits than others do. You might benefit from learning more about the G-spot and the kind of action/stimulation a woman's yoni likes best.