A:

Dear B.C.:

There are many reasons why a wife would refuse to have sex with her husband. I do know this: In order to feel sexual desire, a woman must first feel womanly. Here are a few suggestions you can begin with:

• Make her feel womanly and beautiful by seeing her – really seeing her. Not her outward appearance, but her inner light. Begin to love her as the Goddess she is.
• Offer her a deep, slow massage without expecting anything in return.
• Take her shopping for a beautiful new outfit (including some sexy underwear).
• Tell her how beautiful she looks in her clothes. (She brought two children into the world through her magical body – a painful process! When was the last time you appreciated her (verbally, and out loud) for all she has done for you?)
• Look into her eyes, and see the mature woman who has emerged out of the young girl you married. If you can’t love everything about her, find everything about her that you can love and then love those aspects.
• A woman who has taken care of your house and children for ten years needs time to remember that she is a woman – an expression of the Goddess, a being of beauty and light. Give her this time by taking over duties at the house. Give her a week off.
• The feminine loves what grows, so grow yourself into a better man. Manliness means becoming more of who you are physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. Exercise. Dance. Practice yoga and meditation. Discover and live your life purpose. Get a therapist or coach to help with your progress. If you are growing as a man, your woman will be more attracted to you.

When you actively love a woman, she will open to you, get wet for you, and desire you. Sex is a byproduct of love! Not the other way around! When you focus on what you can GIVE in love, rather than what you can GET from love, a woman’s cup overflows, and she gets very juicy. And you, sir, will be the lucky recipient of that juice. But first things first. Dedicate yourself to her needs without thinking of yours. Serve the Goddess. Your time, and your reward, will surely come.