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Lesson: Our Breath
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Our first practice won’t look very sexy to you but you’ll soon understand why it’s so important. How we breathe is of the utmost importance to our vital health, both physically and emotionally. It’s one of the primary reasons women are pre-orgasmic or frustrated with their inability to orgasm every time. It also plays a major role in premature ejaculation in men. As a western society we’ve been taught to tighten our stomachs, suck in our bellies and, consequently, we are a culture of chest breathers. Interestingly though, upper chest breathing is a pre-indicator of fear and stress. When we’re mad we breath shallowly and take in air just at the top of our lungs without getting a full breath. They tend to be short, fast breaths. This kind of breathing sets us on edge and further contributes to an existence based on fear and separateness. The other important piece about breathing is to learn to train yourself to always do it! This may sound odd. Women, observe yourself the next time you are making love, either with your partner or by yourself. You feel good, you're at a level 9, the energy is building, your body gets tense and then tenser, suddenly, you notice you’re not breathing. What’s happened? This is a typical response pattern. We get tense and stop breathing. The orgasmic energy falls away and we have to build it again, often with the same results. The key is to learn to let the breath carry your sexual response. For men, slow, deep belly breaths are key to staying relaxed in high states of arousal and preventing premature ejaculation. Throughout the course of these lessons we’ll learn other ways to use the breath but, for now, we need to relearn basic breathing. If at any time you feel disoriented or dizzy, stop, take a few breaths in your normal manner and continue with the exercise. For some people this practice will come naturally and for others it will be slightly challenging. With a little practice, though, you'll be on your way to healthier breathing! What we will work towards is a steady, full, deep breath into our bellies. This is a great practice for beginning meditation, also. Allow about 10 minutes for this practice. Everyday would be ideal. Lie on your back in a comfortable, quiet place. Light a candle if you’d like to create a special space. Close your eyes and place one of your hands on your belly. Begin a slow inhalation through the nostrils. Really let your stomach rise with the breath and fall back on the out breath, almost in an exaggerated manner. Notice the rise and fall of the hand you've placed on your belly. Notice the slight arch in your back rising and falling with each breath. After ten to fifteen of these breaths, open your mouth and on the exhalation let the air out softly through the lips (a little sound is ok). Continue to breathe slowly and deeply in this manner. Relax and then relax even more deeply. While still lying on your back put your other hand gently over your genitals. You may want to place the bottoms of your feet on the floor with legs bent at the knees. Continue to breathe and feel the rise and expansion that occurs in the genital region. Stay with this practice for 10 minutes. Attempt it every day, say just before you go to bed at night. It will also help you to relax for sleep. INQUIRY: How did this make you feel? Was it easy or a little uncomfortable ...
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