As you move into Valentine's Day why not get creative about intimacy and sexual loving? Research shows that creative behavior can lead to sexual success!
Below, you'll find a small section from Suzie's The Everything Kama Sutra Book with some ideas that are just a little bit different. Stretch a little and introduce your lover to something brand new!
Seduction
Seduction can involve the use of all the senses in both life and love. You don't need to be turned off to it because you think it is coercive or manipulative. Telling the truth can be very seductive, if you do it right. You can develop your own unique brand of seduction and, if you think you already have that brand, you can refine it to work for you and your lover even better.
Kindness
Showing kindness, compassion, and interest in what your lover is involved with in life is seductive. Everyone loves true attention. There is great seduction in sharing drink, food, words, music: all the things that romance is built around. The Kama Sutra makes note that young people are, by nature, generous with themselves and their worldly goods. These qualities attract us to each other.
Flirting Techniques
The Kama Sutra is full of subtle techniques you can use to woo a potential lover with. Coyness, sitting by oneself, and glancing furtively at the object of the desire are all natural techniques employed by heartfelt lovers to entice a potential mate to seek them out. Lovers have used actions like accidental/on-purpose brushing up against an arm, a breast, or a foot under a table since the beginning of time.
Wittiness is very seductive. It is a great way to flirt. Knowledge is an excellent way to break the ice when approaching a new person to meet. Being smart shouldn't equate to being snobby, though. If you are prone to being a know-it-all then try to preface your comments so that they become more like a genuine offering rather than a way to make you look good.
Listening
Be genuinely interested in what the other person has to say. Listen attentively, especially if that person is a woman. Make eye contact a lot and for extended periods of time. Practice it and add a smile. It doesn't hurt and will actually make you feel better inside even if the person doesn't respond much.
In the days of the Kama Sutra they used go-betweens to arrange meetings between people. In a way, that happens today, only on a less formal basis. Being bubbly and vivacious draws other people's attention to you. This has to happen in a natural setting, though, because it is easy to spot a person who is forcing a bubbly personality.
Using Sexy Words
For both men and women, words can be powerful, erotic stimulators. In general, men will prefer lusty, teasing, more explicitly sexual language. Women tend to respond to more indirect language--hints, words of love and desire, compliments. Regardless of what you like, the idea is to start the erotic play before you get to the bedroom. The longer we can be juiced-up, the stronger our reactions will be when we get there.
Don't hesitate to use words liberally when making love. And make sounds to let your partner know how you are feeling and what you like. Check the activities list below for some ideas about words to use.
Here are some activities to try. There are several different versions. You may want to create new, additional variations that are appropriate for times other than when you are making love. Sit facing each other when you do these. Take turns.
- Give each other the gift of one minute of compliments. Just say as many loving, complimentary words and phrases that come to your mind. Don't think too much, just let them flow out. Switch so each of you has a turn to give and receive.
- Each of you takes one minute to say as many erotic, hot, sexy words as you can come up with. Don't censor your words, just let them out.
- In one minute say as many words of compassion, care, and sympathy that come to your mind. Use this one when one or both of you are experiencing hurt or vulnerability.
- Use words of gratitude and thanks for one minute each. This practice helps us remember to speak about how precious our lives are. Use this one generously!
Get creative. Make up your own version with themes that fit your life.
