A: We are all responsible for our own pleasure. There are many things that a person can learn to vastly improve the orgasmic response. Focus, deep belly breathing, moving slowly with no goal in mind and breathing the exquisite energy feelings up to your higher chakras (especially the heart chakra) are all excellent tools for building orgasmic response.
One very basic action that happens in a lot of women is that they stop breathing when they get excited and this short-circuits the building flow of energy. It may sound like an easy thing to change, if this is the case, but it takes work. The outcome will be well worth it, though. Practice breathing by filling your belly while you're lying on your back. Breath slowly and make sure you are watching your belly rise and fall. Practice this everyday for a few weeks. Take it into lovemaking in a conscious way and be gentle with yourself if it feels hard at first. See the related article, Orgasmic Consciousness Breath.
In addition, focus on releasing body tension, especially in the groin, spine, neck, and jaw. Practice breathing more deeply and sighing on the exhale. Get un-tense before making love. Try some erotic massage.
The other part of this is empowered communication with your partner. There is another article in the same section on a simple communication technique that will help both of you tremendously.
Finally, attend a workshop and get some training in Tantra. They are fun and life changing.
