June 18, 2013
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5 years without sex, how can I make my "first time" special?

Johanina Wikoff

Q: I have been seeing someone for a while now, and we have decided that the time is right to become intimate. I want to, but I'm also scared. How can I seduce him and drive him wild? It's been five years since my divorce and I want this night to be extra special, but it's also kind of scary. Any advice?
A: The first time is a special event in a couple's relating, and creating a setting is part of contributing to a memorable coming together. While seduction can be erotic, telling your sweetheart you are planning a special night with him as the honored guest can also build anticipation. Create a sumptuous and pleasing environment with flowers, candles, and sensual music; burn incense and aromatic oils. Offerings of finger foods are a nice touch. Clean and beautiful sheets and spreads create an inviting bedchamber. Wear a soft and silky garment, perhaps with tassels that play lightly against your partners skin when you brush against him.

When your beloved arrives, treat him as an honored guest. Provide a comfortable robe or sarong for him to change into. Bathe or shower together and then place a warm towel on the bed or floor and massage him with a good oil that you have warmed. Think of yourself as a goddess, a courtesan, or a geisha as you sensually stroke his body using your hands, breasts, and lips. And don't be in a hurry. Be present in your touch, feel the pleasure of touching and giving pleasure to another. Enjoy the dance of love without a goal or a destination.


Dr.Josie

The following question is answered by Johanina Wikoff, Ph.D. also known as "Dr. Josie." She is an author, lecturer and international workshop presenter. Dr. Wikoff will answer questions submitted to questions@tantra.com.
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